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Tuesdays: Herps, Dog Training, Senior Cats, Fancy Cats, Pet Loss, and more!
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PRINCE
Posted by STREAXGIRL on April 19, 2003 at 05:53:25:
NO ONE HAS POSTED ME A MESSAGE, AND THAT'S OK, I UNDERSTAND NORMAL PEOPLE ARE BUSY. BUT I'M NO LONGER NORMAL. I AM UP ALL NIGHT CRYING AND SEEKING PEACE. I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO, BESIDES THE FACT THAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH, THEY AREN'T ANIMAL PEOPLE AND THINK I'M OVER-REACTING. IN A DESPERATE PLEA FOR SOME SOLICE, I THOUGHT I WOULD WRITE TO PRINCE AND TRY TO GET SOME FEELINGS OUT:
PRINCE, OH WHERE TO START. YOU WERE MY EVERYTHING. MY ANGEL, MY BABY, AND GOD KNOWS HOW I AM MISSING YOU. I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T EAT. YOU KNOW HOW I LOVED YOU, THAT I'M SURE OF, BUT WHAT YOU MAY BE THINKING NOW IS WHAT CRUSHES MY HEART. IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, WHICH I PRAY TO GOD YOU ARE, YOU ARE WONDERING WHY I'M NOT THERE WITH YOU. YOU MAY THINK I NO LONGER WANTED YOU, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FAR FROM THE TRUTH THAT IS. I'M SO VERY SORRY FOR WHAT I DID AND DID NOT DO. PLEASE FORGIVE YOUR MOMMY FOR BEING SO IGNORANT. YOU WERE WITH ME ALL THE TIME I WAS SICK, AND I DID NOT PROTECT YOU ENOUGH. YOU KNOW THAT 3 DAYS BEFORE YOU GOT LOST I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET ON A PLANE, AND NANA AND BRANDI WERE GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR A LITTLE WHILE. I WAS SICK AND HAD A PANIC ATTACK AND COULD NOT GET ON THE PLANE. I TALKED TO YOU ABOUT HOW BAD I FELT THAT I'D DISSAPOINTED DADDY KEV BECAUSE I WASN'T COMING TO SEE HIM AFTER ALL, AND I CRIED WHEN I THOUGHT ABOUT GABE, AND HOW DISSAPOINTED HE WAS IN ME. I KNEW WHEN HE LOOKED AT ME WITH THOSE LITTLE 6 YEAR OLD EYES THAT HE WAS SO UPSET, HIS FIRST PLANE TRIP, RUINED BY HIS AUNT. I THOUGHT SURELY IT HAPPENED FOR A REASON, SOMETHING TERRIBLE WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, EITHER TO THE PLANE, OR HERE WHILE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GONE. INSTEAD, 3 DAYS LATER, I LOST YOU. I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT GETTING ON THAT PLANE, THEN YOU'D STILL BE SAFE AT HOME. I'M SO SORRY FOR TAKING YOU INTO THE GARAGE THAT EVENING, I HAD NO IDEA SOMEONE WOULD OPEN THE DOOR. I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T PROTECT YOU. NOW I'M HERE ALL ALONE, NO EVEN KNOWING IF YOU ARE ALIVE. IT WAS COLD THAT DAY, AND THE NEXT FEW DAYS, I KNOW BECAUSE I SAT OUTSIDE WHISTLING AND CALLING FOR YOU. I THINK OF YOU BEING COLD, AND HUNGRY AND SCARED, AND I CRY SO HARD WONDERING WHAT YOU ARE/WERE THINKING. THAT I LET YOU BE COLD AND HUNGRY AND SCARED, WHEN I WOULD'VE GIVEN ANYTHING, EVEN LIFE ITSELF TO BRING YOU BACK AND MAKE YOU SAFE, EVEN IF IT WASN'T WITH ME. I THINK WHAT IF YOU ARE NOT ALIVE, IF YOU DID NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE WEATHER. DID YOU FREEZE TO DEATH, OR STARVE TO DEATH, AND THE PAIN YOU WENT THROUGH, IT'S ALL MY FAULT. I CAN'T BEAR TO KNOW WHAT YOU WERE THINKING. CAN YOU EVER FORGIVE ME? PLEASE, I WOULD DO ANYTHING. YOU'VE BEEN GONE ALMOST 2 MONTHS NOW AND THE PAIN IS AS NEW AS THE DAY YOU LEFT. IT WILL GET NO BETTER, AND I WOULD STILL DIE FOR YOU. EVEN AS I AM SICK ALL OVER AGAIN, AND THE DOCTORS HAVE TO RUN MORE OF THOSE HORRIBLE TESTS BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG, I DON'T CARE. PEOPLE PITY ME BECAUSE I'M SO SICK, BUT I WOULD BE FINE TO BE SICK ALL OF MY LIFE, TO NEVER KNOW WHAT'S WRONG, AS LONG AS YOU WERE STILL HERE TO COMFORT ME THROUGH IT LIKE YOU ALWAYS DID. I CAN'T SAY I'M SORRY ENOUGH TO EASE MY HEART. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW I COULD'VE BEEN SO STUPID. I PRAY THAT WHEREVER YOU ARE, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND HOW MUCH I MISS YOU. THAT I CRY EVERYDAY AND LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU. IT WASN'T MY CHOICE THAT SEPERATED US, BUT I SO HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY AND SAFE WHEREVER YOU ARE. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY ALWAYS. LOVE, YOUR MOMMA.
- Re: PRINCE canarymom 04/21/03
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